STRONG THROUGH THE STORMS

PREPARING YOUR CHILD FOR A LIFE OF DOMINION

Pastor Michael Olawore

                                                                  Sunday 01 May 2011

Foundation Scriptures: Matthew7: 24 - 27

We begin our 2011 Family Convention today, of which the theme for this year is Strong Through the Storms, by drawing from the scriptures and the mind of God, strategies and wisdom we need to reinforce our homes against the storms of life. Storms will come and there is very little that we can do about that reality. However, it is wisdom that we build our homes so that when the storms of life occur, we can withstand them. There is a school of thought among some believers that, if we are people of faith then we should not expect storms to occur. Contrary to this belief, Jesus clearly stated in His word that ‘in this world we can expect to face tribulations or challenges but we should rejoice because He has overcome the world’. In Jesus’ parable of the wise and foolish builders in Matthew 7: 24-25, He likened those who heard and put His words into practice to a wise builder who had built his house on the rock; “The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.” It is with this expectation therefore that we must come to our Family Convention throughout the month of May and today, position ourselves to receive instruction on key parenting issues.

Train up a Child

Proverbs 22:6 instructs us to “Train up a child in the way that he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.”  I believe that looking closely at what we are seeking not to achieve can be informative in ensuring that we are aware of what we should not do. With this in mind, allow me to share with you 12 Rules for Raising Juvenile Delinquents which was taken from a police crime prevention programme:

1. Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living.
2.  When he picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he’s cute.
3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he is twenty-one and then let "him decide for himself".
4. Avoid the use of "wrong". He may develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe later, when he is arrested, that society is against him and he is being persecuted.
5. Pick up everything he leaves lying around. Do everything for him so that he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility on others.
6. Take his part against neighbours, teachers, and policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child.
7. Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children. In this way they won’t be so shocked when the home is broken up later.
8. Give the child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own.
9.  Satisfy his every craving for food, drink, and comfort. See that his every sensual desire is gratified.
10. Let him read any printed material, and listen to any music he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage.
11. When he gets into real trouble, apologize to yourself by saying, "I could never do anything with him."
12. Prepare for a life of certain grief. You will likely have it.

To raise a child inappropriately is to withdraw the necessary training and guidance the child requires to fulfil his God given destiny. Training our children is a key aspect of parenting that is crucial and should not be ignored. It is at the centre of God’s mandate to us as parents.

To gain a full understanding of what God is communicating to us in His instruction to ‘train up a child in the way that he should go’, the Hebrew words offer a great deal of insight: the word for ‘train’ used here is ‘chanoch’, which means dedicating or consecrating and the word for ‘way’ here is ‘darkov’ which has connotations that are wider than a physical direction but also includes ‘characteristics and natural inclination’. From this we can understand that every child is unique and with a natural inclination and it is our responsibility as parents to identify the uniqueness of our child and direct them in keeping with these giftings and natural inclinations. We cannot afford to wait until a child is mature before embarking on training. Whatever training that they did not receive in their childhood, cannot be given when they are adults. As they step out of your home into adulthood and maturity, they represent everything that you imparted or failed to impart in their childhood and they will manifest outside the family, everything that they learned inside the family home.

Proverbs 29: 15; 17 makes clear that correction is a necessary part of what God expects of us as parents. He desires for us to impact our children by discerning their giftings and recognising their natural inclinations and moulding them in a way that will prepare them for a life of dominion. There is something in your life that your child needs and must be imparted to them in order for them to fulfil their potential. The responsibility to train your child does not fall upon television producers, the education system or the government but you. We must take that responsibility and do so seriously. We must avoid imposing our desires and ambitions on our children but actively discern the natural inclinations and giftings that God has deposited in them and draw them out and develop them.

If you would, come with me on a journey of discovery of what was on God’s mind as regards parenting by looking back at Genesis 1: 26 when He created mankind. He created us, of course, in His image and likeness and instructed us to be fruitful. It was His intention for us to look and function like Him and in keeping with the law that everything must produce after its own kind, the fruit that we produce be in likeness of the original, namely Him. God’s agenda for parenting therefore involves us recreating our fruits, in the image and likeness of God. However, because of the fall of man in the Garden, the process was distorted by sin; you will notice that although Adam was created in the likeness of God, ‘Adam begot a son in his own likeness, after his image’ (Genesis 5: 3) rather than in the image of God as the divine nature had been lost. Until Christ came, all that was being reproduced was in the image of Adam, the fallen man. However in Christ we received the spirit of adoption by which we are called the children of God (Romans 8: 16).

God gave us biological fathers as a model for our relationship with our Heavenly Father.  When an earthly father fails in his responsibility to relate properly to his children, he deprives the next generation of the opportunity to understand how to relate correctly with God. What our earthly fathers represent to us becomes our first impression of what God is like as God is a father. A father therefore is required to love unconditionally, provide emotional, spiritually and physical support for his children, create a loving and friendly environment in which children can grow and flourish; He should be trustworthy, always pray for his family and constantly walk in integrity.

‘Life affords no greater privilege than to raise the next generation’

Training is a process that involves the acquisition of knowledge designed to equip us to reach a particular outcome or destination in life.  Godly children are not created by accident. Future generations depend on the quality of our parenting. What we do today has a ripple effect that has multi-generational consequences. Parenting will involve a sacrifice of time. We will likely have to re-programme our schedules to make time for our children. Every child is programmed for greatness. Every child is unique and has a destiny planned and concluded in detail in the mind of God. There is no such thing as ‘an accident’, regardless of the circumstances in which a child may have been born.

Let’s share then, some parenting keys to enable us to prepare our children for dominion:

1. Seek the face of God and know the mind of God for your children: In Judges 13:8, Manoah sought a blueprint from heaven regarding his yet unborn son praying ‘teach us what we shall do for the child who will be born.’
2. Teach your child: Do not be too busy to teach your children. Teach them spiritually - ensure that they know who they are in God and are secure in their identity in God. Ensure they that understand God’s position on the key issues of life. Teach them morally – build in them principles of love, honesty, forgiveness, respect for others and integrity. Teach them intellectually – give them the best education you can afford and expose them to environments that will challenge and stimulate them. Challenge them to read a book once a month and reward them for it. Teach them socially – instil in them social skills and politeness, orderliness and hygiene. Teach them economically – show them how to manage their finances and resources responsibly. Remember at all times however that the greatest method of teaching your children is by way of your own example.
3. Pray for your children and pray with your children – Prayer changes things and will build up spiritual resilience in your children. Nothing remains the same in the presence of prayer. Prayer enforces the will of God in the lives of your children.
4. Build up confidence in your children – Determine to create an atmosphere of love and acceptance.
5. Spend quality time with your children – Ensure that you are not competing with the TV or computer but are giving them your full attention.
6. Discipline your children in love: Proverbs 29:15, 23:13, 22:15 and Revelation 3:19. – Remember that discipline must be carried out in love with a view to building them up rather than destroying them.  If you discipline your child and they no long want to be around you or shut down, you have gone too far and need to review your strategy. It is important to remember that the motivation must be love and discipline must never be carried out in anger.  You should not embarrass or scorn your children, particularly in the presence of others.
7. Use your words to build your children up – Avoid destructive or abusive language. Instead, affirm them and let them hear you celebrate them when they do well.

I encourage you therefore to understand the unique giftings, abilities and talents that God has deposited in your child and determine to prayerfully train them and positively prepare them, not for an ordinary life, but for a life of dominion!